He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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