you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
