I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
