Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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