so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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