He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
