Is it normal to miss your booty call?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
