Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
