i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
