I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
