garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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