i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
