yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
