i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
