I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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