I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
