Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
