Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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