I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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