Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
