thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
