just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
