he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
