I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
