Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
