ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
