went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
