dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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