hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
