Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
