so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
