fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
