he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
