But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
