??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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