she looked like the before picture.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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