Your dad touched me again.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
