The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
