The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
