you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
