she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
