Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
