how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just gift wrapped bread.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
