A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
