you traded sex for a burrito?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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