He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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