i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
