There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
