i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
