There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
