dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She told me I should be a condom model.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
