I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
