I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
worst night to have a conscience
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
