I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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