Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
