And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
